Thursday, February 24, 2011

The Path to Now, Part 5

I just realized that I never completely finished The Path to Now series.  Really, I think most of you can fill in the blanks, but for finishing-sake, here it is.

Sweet Peanut was born September 26, 2009, and I returned to work full-time in early November, bringing her with me daily.  That was both a blessing and a curse, as any working mom can probably imagine.  The agreement with my boss was that I could bring her through mid-February, but I knew pretty early on that the arrangement wasn't going to work that long.  It was so hard juggling her needs and the needs of my job, and I felt like I was never doing either well.  However, we were at a loss for how we would pay for childcare, if we could even find one that we deemed acceptable.  There are a lot of not-so-great day cares out there, if you weren't already aware!

While arranging to borrow some snow-gear for a trip to the mountains that winter, I mentioned to an acquaintance from church, a teacher taking some time off from work to care for her surprise third child, our difficulty in finding quality childcare for our newbie at a reasonable price.  A week or so later, she contacted me to let me know that she really felt called to help us.  Plus, she and her husband needed some work done on their house, so maybe we could pay her in services.  We met together not too long later and decided to give it a go.  Peanut began staying with her full-time while I worked in mid-January 2010, about 4 weeks before my deadline to find other arrangements.

The arrangement worked well for us, and I think it was generally positive for her and her family, too.  However, we knew that it was somewhat temporary as we would eventually run out of projects we could do for payment, and she also had plans to return to school, potentially impacting her availability to care for Ellie by the end of the summer.  The arrangement with Mr. Four Wall's mom was also nearing the end of its feasible life-span (and probably had already past it, if I'm being honest). 

We spent the late winter and early spring of 2010 earnestly talking and praying on what direction to go.  We knew God had given us this baby and put us exactly where we were for a reason.  We also knew that our prayers for relief - for a return to normalcy  - were not being answered, and we took that as Him telling us the solution required action from us beyond that which we'd already taken, that this was possibly our "new normal."   For the time being, we were making it, but only on the generosity and blessing of others. 

We took another long, hard look at our finances, cutting what little frivolity there was left in the budget.  The numbers still didn't add up to begin paying for childcare for even one, let alone all three, of the children.  We were both making relatively good money, towards the upper-ends of our positions.  However, with ridiculous housing, childcare, commuting and health-insurance expenses, there was simply no way to make it all fit.  Something had to give, and the only long-term solution we could see was cutting the housing expense. 

We spent several weeks researching the value of our home, conferring with numerous real estate agents and meeting with an attorney to learn all of the ramifications of selling a home worth significantly less than we owed.  We readied the house for the market (which also involved moving Mr. Four Wall's mom out, and losing childcare for the older two children, but that's a different story for another day). Then we took the leap.  And that is where this blog began in June of 2010.

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