Two Steps Forward. One Step Back.

Last week we were expecting to finally have something resembling an answer from the bank.  Alas, as in so many other areas of life, expectations in this process are a set-up for disappointments....

Instead of a yes, no, or even a maybe, we were told that instead of evaluating us for a short-sale they are now "required" to evaluate us for a loan modification.  The same loan modification that we have been told previously that would not work in our situation.  The same loan modification that the bank themselves told us they wouldn't consider us for previously.

It will take them another 30 or so days to work through that process.  Once they determine that a modification will not work - and if they can do math at all they will see that it can't  - then the file will go back to the decisioning process for the short-sale.

One step back.

Technically, our contract with the buyers expired this week.  If they walked, as the previous buyers did, that could have been a giant step back.  However, they and their agent requested to extend the closing date to on or before July 23rd!  So obviously they are still hanging on.  It's not a guarantee that they won't change their minds at some point, of course, but it is a positive move for now.

Two steps forward.  Hopefully.

As for the rest of life in general, we're settling in to the rental fairly well. It's pretty cramped, but since it's very similar in square footage and lay-out to the first house Mr. Four Walls and I purchased - the home to which we brought newborns Jellybean and Miss Florida - it's not been too much of a challenge to cram in all five of us.  There have been a few trips to Ikea, the storage Mecca, since in small spaces the only way to go is up!  Wall shelving, bins, and some do-it-yourself honey-do items for Mr. Four Walls should get us out of the last few remaining boxes soon.  We scored on some Ikea shelving in the as-is section for the corner of our bedroom - now referred to as The Office - and Mr. Four Walls is going to build in a customized desk top.  Once it's all done I need to post some photos.

The other BIG item on the horizon is that we're coming up on the end of our arrangement with our current sitter.  Childcare issues....again.  The bane of my existence lately, especially since my heart isn't in it.  I don't want to find childcare.  I want to be home.  Peanut is 18 months old today, if you can believe it.  The time has gone so fast, and as I look back on the past year and a half, I remember so little of her teeny days.  I can remember so much of Jellybean's and Miss Florida's, almost like it they were yesterday, but the fact of the matter is that I wasn't with Peanut much to make those kind of memories, and that breaks my heart.  We're doing some serious soul-searching, budget-crunching, and God-seeking as we try to move towards a decision: find new care for the kids, or quit my job????? 

If I do leave my great job - and it is a great job - I will still need to bring in an income.  One big option on the table is for me to open a small in-home daycare, and I'm thoroughly researching this option.  I can also flip burgers or wait tables every evening and weekend, basically putting me and Mr. Four Walls on opposite schedules.  There are pros to cons to both options, so more decisions. 

Big Decisions. That seems to be all that our lives are about lately, and as we make them we pray that they're the two-steps forward kind, not the one (or two, or five) step back sort.

Completely Unrelated, But Oh So Important!

As most of you know, I am the mom to a preemie. A beautiful, strong, and very blessed preemie that now, as she nears her seventh birthday, shows no signs of the chaos and anxiety that surrounded her unexpected early birth.

You also probably know that I went on to have a full-term, perfect little girl in late 2009. What you might not know is that to do so, I received weekly hormone injections to help my body regulate and defen...d against the preterm labor that afflicted me with my second daughter (and likely with my first, although we were lucky with her and hindsight is 20-20). I certainly still dealt with the preterm labor, but thanks to these injections, my body was able to sustain the pregnancy all the way to my due date.

Now, this injection - through unneeded government regulation and corporate greed - will become unavailable to a vast majority of women who truly need it. While I know I will not need this drug again (done with babies!) my heart aches for all the other women out there with histories like mine that now have to choose between taking a gamble, paying $30,000 for a course of the drug that currently costs most women $200, or not grow their families at all.

Below are excerpts from a letter written by the doctor of a dear friend of mine on this issue. Please read it and take action on behalf of all of the preemies you know, here on earth or in heaven. If this current course is not altered, the positive outcome I and so many other moms of preemies were able to experience with our subsequent births will become all the more rare.

Thanks for all of your prayers and support through the journey that has brought Mike and me into this "club" of preemie-parents. I hope we can count on your continued support now.

Sincerely,

Nancy

"As many of you have become aware, KV Pharmaceuticals has received FDA approval
to be the exclusive distributor for P17. They are planning to charge $1500 per
injection for a total cost, per pregnancy, of $30,000!!!!

The current cost is $10 per injection, or $200 per pregnancy.

There are several points that I would like to emphasize.

The rationale for a commercial manufacturer is to ensure a standard
concentration. In theory, this can be a problem with compounding pharmacies
although the vast majority of the compounding pharmacies producing this product
that present have extremely exacting standard. The March of Dimes has,
unfortunately, bought into this rationale with absolutely no proof that a
variation in strength is of any clinical significance. By law, once a drug is
commercially available, compounding pharmacies must stop production of that
drug.

We have been using P17 for the past ten years from these compounding pharmacies
with obvious beneficial effect. So where is the rationale for this change?

March of Dimes receives several million dollars a year in support from KV
Pharmaceuticals - I wonder why! This suggests to me that March of Dimes can be
bought. I, personally, have informed the March of Dimes that I am ceasing all
support of their organization, financial and otherwise, until they divorce
themselves from KV Pharmaceuticals and support for Makena. They do not realize
that they are going to cause an increase in the preterm birth rate, not a
decrease. At best, there will be no change other that a massive over-expenditure
of health-care dollars.

You have seen the propaganda stating that no-one will be denied the medication
because of ability to pay. However, what they don't tell you is that they are
going to use very strict criteria. In essence, the only women who will qualify
is those who have had a prior preterm birth before 32 weeks secondary to preterm
labor. To illustrate this more fully, Aetna/US Health care (one of the largest
insurers in the country) covers this therapy when patients meet their strict
criteria. Currently, they are paying for P17 for only 1,000 women nationwide per
year! There are 4.2 million births in the US annually. 10 - 15%, or 420,000 to
610,000 are premature. And Aetna is only going to cover 1,000 of these women.

30% of all prenatal care is covered by Medicaid. An additional 10% is covered by
charity care. KV is going to insist that since this care is not coming out of
the patient's pocket, the cost should be borne by Medicaid and charity care.
Currently, we can provide good prenatal care for about $2,000 per pregnancy. So
for every patient placed on P17, we have to somehow find away to cover an
additional 15 pregnant patients. And who pays the medicaid and charity care bill?
We all do through higher taxes and higher healthcare premiums!

Studies show that approximately 30 women need to be treated with P17 to prevent
one preterm birth. At $200 per patient, this is very cost effective. That is an
expenditure of $6,000 to save the average of $51,000 per preterm delivery. With
current pricing, we will have to spend $9 million dollars in P17 therapy to save
$51,000. Does this make sense? And people want to know why health care costs so
much.

Most of you (greater than 90%) who will be on P17 now will be faced with doing
without or paying $1500 per injection out-of-pocket. If you are currently on
this medication, make sure that your doctors order enough for you right away to
cover the entire pregnancy. You could have as little as one week. If you are
early in pregnancy or planning a pregnancy soon, talk to your doctors about
getting this now to have on hand. Most suppliers warrant the drug to be
effective for one year.

So, what can you do?

Firstly, contact KV Pharmaceutical and voice your displeasure:

Second, notify your local media outlets about this issue.

Third, write or email your congressman and senator.

Fourth, contact the FDA and find out why they elected to give KV exclusivity for
this product. Competition will bring down the price dramatically.

Fifth, write to the president.

Sixth, contact your state Medicaid offices and your insurance carriers. Get them
involved.

Seventh, get as many of your friends, family members, co-workers, etc. as
possible to do the above.

Eighth, feel free to cut/paste/email the above to as many contacts as you can.
Let's make this issue go viral!

If we can get enough of a protest mounted, we stand a chance of averting this
"rape" of the healthcare system that is motivated almost entirely by a profit
motive. Even if KV decides to not manufacture the drug for fear of losing money,
we will be better off than with what they are currently planning.

Thank you."

I'm the Decider.

It has been two weeks since my financial interview during which I was told we would know something in two to three weeks.  Last week the file was passed on to the investor (Fannie Mae, in our case) for them to review as the bank is simply the loan servicer, and the update today is that it will be another week.   It's being called The Decisioning Process and the file is reviewed by The Decisioner.  This makes me giggle and envision someone wearing medieval executioner garb, sitting in a drab cubicle piled high with paperwork.  At least they don't call him/her The Decider.  Although, if GW is looking for a retirement gig, Fannie Mae might have an opening for him.  They're certainly busy enough.

More Progess

I received a call a few moments ago from a real estate agent hired by the bank to perform the BPO (Broker's Price Opinion).  That's where an agent that so far has been uninvolved with the transaction is hired to do a comparative market valuation on the property as part of the bank's research and decision making process.  She is at the house as I type.  Please pray it comes in where we need it to (the buyer's offer or less) in order to get this ordeal to a positive completion point.

The Path to Now, Part 5

I just realized that I never completely finished The Path to Now series.  Really, I think most of you can fill in the blanks, but for finishing-sake, here it is.

Sweet Peanut was born September 26, 2009, and I returned to work full-time in early November, bringing her with me daily.  That was both a blessing and a curse, as any working mom can probably imagine.  The agreement with my boss was that I could bring her through mid-February, but I knew pretty early on that the arrangement wasn't going to work that long.  It was so hard juggling her needs and the needs of my job, and I felt like I was never doing either well.  However, we were at a loss for how we would pay for childcare, if we could even find one that we deemed acceptable.  There are a lot of not-so-great day cares out there, if you weren't already aware!

While arranging to borrow some snow-gear for a trip to the mountains that winter, I mentioned to an acquaintance from church, a teacher taking some time off from work to care for her surprise third child, our difficulty in finding quality childcare for our newbie at a reasonable price.  A week or so later, she contacted me to let me know that she really felt called to help us.  Plus, she and her husband needed some work done on their house, so maybe we could pay her in services.  We met together not too long later and decided to give it a go.  Peanut began staying with her full-time while I worked in mid-January 2010, about 4 weeks before my deadline to find other arrangements.

The arrangement worked well for us, and I think it was generally positive for her and her family, too.  However, we knew that it was somewhat temporary as we would eventually run out of projects we could do for payment, and she also had plans to return to school, potentially impacting her availability to care for Ellie by the end of the summer.  The arrangement with Mr. Four Wall's mom was also nearing the end of its feasible life-span (and probably had already past it, if I'm being honest). 

We spent the late winter and early spring of 2010 earnestly talking and praying on what direction to go.  We knew God had given us this baby and put us exactly where we were for a reason.  We also knew that our prayers for relief - for a return to normalcy  - were not being answered, and we took that as Him telling us the solution required action from us beyond that which we'd already taken, that this was possibly our "new normal."   For the time being, we were making it, but only on the generosity and blessing of others. 

We took another long, hard look at our finances, cutting what little frivolity there was left in the budget.  The numbers still didn't add up to begin paying for childcare for even one, let alone all three, of the children.  We were both making relatively good money, towards the upper-ends of our positions.  However, with ridiculous housing, childcare, commuting and health-insurance expenses, there was simply no way to make it all fit.  Something had to give, and the only long-term solution we could see was cutting the housing expense. 

We spent several weeks researching the value of our home, conferring with numerous real estate agents and meeting with an attorney to learn all of the ramifications of selling a home worth significantly less than we owed.  We readied the house for the market (which also involved moving Mr. Four Wall's mom out, and losing childcare for the older two children, but that's a different story for another day). Then we took the leap.  And that is where this blog began in June of 2010.

Finally, Some Movement. Maybe. Hopefully.

Wow, I've been quit the failure at keeping this blog updated in recent months. 

Honestly, though, there's not been much to update.  Every week we update our bank statements, pay-stubs, etc, and every week we're told the "file is in review."  In the past two weeks, however there have been signs, albeit small ones, that there might be an end in sight.  The bank has started requesting specific documents, which might not seem like much but it shows that someone with half-a-brain has at least physically looked at our file. Unfortunately, some of the documents they've requested don't exist.  Details, details.

Then this week we were asked to contact the bank directly to complete another "financial interview" before the file moves on to the next step.  So, instead of spending this beautiful, rare, snowed-in morning frolicking in the flakes with my kids, I got the baby down for a nap, "gently" nudged the older girls out the door to play in the snow, and called the bank.  Here's a play-by-play of the psychological warfare that ensued:

10:10 a.m. Entered phone-tree hell, where none of the options even remotely matched the reason for my call.

10:20 a.m.  After pressing a string of phone-tree prompts that more closely resembled the picks to next weeks lotto drawing, "Brandy" very nicely and professionally answered the line.  She verified my identity, pulled open my file and said she'd transfer me to the correct representative to conduct the interview. "It should only take a few minutes."

10:21 a.m. Placed on hold to await said interview and to enjoy obnoxiously loud jazz-guitar Muzak.

10:33 a.m. Muzak ceased and the phone rang.  And rang. And rang.  And rang.

10:34 a.m. Ringing ceased and Muzak resumed.

10:38 a.m. "Keith" answered, confirmed my identity again, and asked "Didn't you already talk to someone?"  I outlined the above experience.  He replied "Well, I've got good news for you!  Are you ready for it?"  "Sure," was my reply.  "I'm going to transfer you over to do the interview now."  How is that good news??????

10:39 a.m.  Muzak resumed.

10:45 a.m.  A friendly rep came on the line, but failed to give me her name.  She simply asked what she can do for me.  Thinking I've again been bumped back to the beginning of the line I impatiently outlined the above.  She informed me that she is indeed the person to whom I need to speak.  Then she abruptly placed me on hold.  Cue Muzak.

10:48 a.m.  Same friendly rep returned to the line.  I asked her name.  "Ann" then launched into a series of questions to "clarify" the information we've been submitting every month since September.  I answered them as thoroughly as possible. 

"How much is your cable bill?"  "We don't have cable," was my reply.  "You don't have cable?" she asked, astonished.  "No." 

I then had to explain in detail the health of our state's unemployment funds, and the unique program in which Mr. Four Wall's employer is enrolled, allowing him to receive supplemental wages when his regular job falls below a certain threshold in hours.  She again was astonished, and launched into the health - or lack thereof - of Michigan's economy. 

A few more questions followed where she needed me to verbally state exactly what is on the paper in front of her.  Childcare expenses are pure-daycare, no alimony or child support.  Garbage is x amount per month.  No, there is no sewer bill because the house is on a septic system.  And again, no, we don't have cable.

She indicated that's all for now.  Oh, wait she noticed that they don't have any bank statements of ours on file from December 2010.  OK, we sent those on such-and-such a date, but I will re-submit tomorrow.  Anything else?

No, nothing else is need from us for now. The file will now be passed onto a Short Sale Specialist for further review.  From this point on, she said that the process should move rather swiftly, and that we should be notified of their decision in two or three weeks.

10:57 a.m. Call finally ended.

So....if you're a praying (or fingers-crossing, or rain-dancing, or voodoo-doll-poking type....) please do your thing.  Decisions are going to be made by someone, somewhere, and their opinion will determine if we can come through this process with an undesirable short-sale on our history, or if we have to go towards the not-so-pleasant, much-more-serious foreclosure.

I'll keep you posted.  Promise.

Another Update

It's official.  The first buyers have walked. I just received the rescission of their offer in my in-box.  The new buyers that appeared on the scene out of nowhere last week are still weighing our counter-offer.  We should know tomorrow if they want to stick it out or not.  They're going through the house again this afternoon, wanting to see it in the daylight (and clean, sans vomit covered man and baby, I'm sure).  It's all out of our hands at this point (isn't is always....).  Pray for favor, please!

Weekly (ahem) Update

Is it just me or have the last "seven" days felt more like, I don't know, thirty-three days?  Without further ado, a "weekly" update.

Nothing has happened with the bank.  Well, as of yesterday morning, that would have been my post every week since my last post over a month ago.  The bank has continued essentially to ignore the fact that they have a very competitive offer sitting in front of them.  To my knowledge, based on their updates, no one has even been assigned to look at the file.  90 days has come and gone, and the buyers have not given us any notice that they are going to extend the timeline on their offer, so for all intents and purposes, that offer is dead.

However, we received another offer yesterday.  The story behind it is a bit funny.  Tuesday of this week, the older girls and I went to a cookie exchange party (thanks for all the fun, Mary!), and Mr. Four Walls and the baby stayed home.  Peanut wasn't feeling too great, none of us have been really - 'tis the season, right?  Anyway, as Mr. Four Walls was getting her down to bed, she threw-up all over him and herself.  Right at that moment, as he was attempting to contain and clean the mess, he heard the front door open, and someone hollering "Hello?  Hello?"

Apparently some friends of our neighbors had decided they wanted to see our house even though it's not listed as an active listing in MLS.  Their agent did, in all fairness, call me ahead of showing as requested in the listing.  However, he called from our driveway shortly before 8 p.m. on a week-night, and as I was at a party I never even heard the phone ring.  Plus, we weren't expecting showings this week, as technically we still had the offer in play.  The house was (and still is) a disaster.

So there was my sweet, shirtless, vomit-covered husband, standing in the middle of a completely disheveled house, holding a tired, naked, vomit-covered toddler.  And really, that is the absolute best staging to sell a home, right?  The agent saw him and apologized.  Mr. Four Walls told them to feel free to look around, but as we weren't expecting anyone, they'd have to deal with the mess.  They were in and out in under 3 minutes.  Mr. Four Walls did overhear them on the way out, and it sounded to him that they were very interested.  He thought he heard their agent tell them to make a full-price offer.

And yesterday that they did, although "full-price" is a relative term and is still almost $100,000 less than we owed on the loan before the default and accruing ridiculous interest, penalties, and fees.  Time has run out on the original offer, and we get to start the game yet again. Yay. Our agent assures us that the bank should hold our place in line, but I'm not so sure.  They haven't gotten around to setting the auction date as they could have done the week of Thanksgiving, so we're still at a minimum 90+ days out from the big "F" word. 

So the countdown is on again.  We -technically- are not mutually agreed on the offer quite yet, so I suppose I'm counting my chickens before they hatch.  I have the file here in front of me, and as soon as I'm done composing this piece of literary ambrosia, I will fax it over to my agent with our changes and signatures, for him to submit to them and their agent.  If all goes well, though, we'll have another offer to send to the bank first thing Monday morning. 

Reset the clock.......tick...tock....tick.....tock........

I'm Dreaming of a Frozen Christmas

Today is Christmas Eve. I cannot believe it! Where has this year gone? Some days I wish we could freeze time, just for a short while. It all goes too quickly. You know those moments, right?

When you look at your children and realize that, even though you just brought them home from the hospital, they're going to be grown and gone tomorrow.

Freeze.

When your love for someone fills you so fully, there's no other place for it to go except streaming down your face in the form of sticky, salty tears.

Freeze.

When an ending is approaching, and you're not quite ready to say goodbye, to move on to the next beginning that will inevitably follow.

Freeze.

We may not get a white Christmas in our soggy corner of the world, but I hope that you each have a Frozen Christmas, at least for a few moments. Although, don't forget to let those moments thaw, because there are surely many more Freeze-worthy moments to come.

Merry Christmas.

Nancy

Weekly Update

Status from the bank:

• The file is still in the "prescreening" process,
• we have to have all the documents updated and resubmitted again by next Thursday (the same day the bank can post the Notice of Trustee's Sale, giving us 90 days, if they're paying attention),
• and if any documents are deemed "missing" when they finally get around to looking at the file they WILL NOT discuss it with our attorney/negotiator but instead will snail-mail us a request for the information (and in all likelihood move our file back to the bottom of the stack).

Response from our negotiator concerning the bank and the 90 day mark looming, when the buyers can walk:

• "They know and don't care."

Lovely. 

On a positive note, it looks like we'll be able to move out at a leisurely pace in January since the bank appears to want to drag this out, or foreclose - both options give us time, I suppose.  We're meeting again with the landlord of the new place tonight to put in the deposit, go over paperwork, etc.  Oh, and we're car shopping this weekend.  The only hope we have for our budget to fit rent and childcare at the same time is to eliminate the car payment.  So we have a small lump-sum of cash with which to find a suitable replacement, and will either trade my beloved little car in on it or sell it private party.  With my brother's help, I'm hoping to have something "new" in the driveway by the end of the weekend so that we can get going on unloading my car if we don't trade.  It's been a good little car; I should have named it.......... at any rate, wish us luck!

Home Sweet Home

Mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam,

Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home.

-John Howard Payne

We have found it, the place that we will soon call home.  For months we've been debating on when and where to move, and we could never really agree.  Last week, however, we both talked again and decided that it's almost time.  Almost time to say good-bye to what used to be our sanctuary and has lately become...I don't know.  I almost said "prison," but that seems a bit melodramatic.  It's more that it's become...nothing on a good day, and a salty salve on an open wound on a bad day.  We decided that we will get through the holidays and move right after the first of the year, no matter what happens with the bank in the next six weeks.  So we began the search....

...and yesterday, we found THE place.  When Mr. Four Walls and I walked through it, we both new it could most definitely be home for us.  Don't get me wrong, it's not our dream home - partly due to the fact that we will go from three toilets to (gulp!) one.  Not wanting to be rash, we looked at a couple of other places and came home to think, pray, and talk.  Really, we're six weeks out from the New Year, so we have time to be sure.  However, we fairly quickly and easily agreed that we had found our new place.

Tonight we took the kids to see it, and they didn't want to leave.  Peanut decided that the handle on the oven door resembled a monkey bar, so that's a habit we're going to have to break, but other than that (and the lone toilet....) it suits us just fine.  The owner even came down on the rent by $125 per month as we were talking to him.  Sweet!  It's the right mix of down-grading and up-grading, simplicity and style, budget-consciousness and sanity-saving.  There are "fun" projects for Mr. Four Walls towards which the landlord eagerly gave his blessing, and the girls are excited to live closer to some friends whom they rarely get to see.

As we drove across town back towards our...non-home, I almost cried.  In fact, when the owner was walking us out and let us know how happy he was that we called him back because he knew that we were the right people for the place, I wanted to hug him.  I didn't because that might have been a bit awkward, but the thought crossed my mind.  Mr. Four Walls drove the dark, winding road back to the place that we will soon leave, and it hit me: for the past six months or so, I have felt homeless.  Not homeless like I sleep in a doorway and scrounge for a meal, but Transient. Unsettled. Insecure.

That feeling is gone just like that.  Anxiety is giving way - for this evening anyway - to anticipation.  And these four walls, a roof, a door, some windows that once sheltered us so sweetly will soon give way to another set, from whose warm interior our family's laughter, joy, and hope for our future will soon pour.

Weekly Update

Here is the weekly update we've just received on our short-sale process:  "The file is still in prescreening waiting to be reviewed by a processor before moving onto a negotiator."

Tick-tock.  Tick-tock. 

I can hear it.  I'm sure the buyers can hear it, too.  It doesn't appear, however, that the bank can hear it.

What the heck?!

The ever-informative weekly update from the negotiator just showed up a few moments ago in my e-mail inbox:

     "...the file is in the prescreening phase and it could wait to be fully reviewed there for up to 60 days before moving on to a processor. "

Prescreening phase????  I have pretty much no idea what this means.  At first read it appears to me that it could be another 60 days before the bank actually looks at the file to start the process of valuing the property, counter-offering, rejecting the whole thing, etc.  By that point, the purchase and sale agreement will have expired, and the buyers, if they have grown tired of the wait, could very easliy be moved on to the next deal.


So who knows.  At the very least it's looking more likely that we'll get another Christmas in the house.  It'll be a bitter sweet one, though.

Hear Ye, Hear Ye!

It's official.  The house is now in the foreclosure process.  The sitter called me today to let me know that she found The Packet of papers taped with the signature blue tape on our door when she went to take the little ones to the store.  I thought I'd be more... I don't know, upset. But I'm not. 

I'm almost relieved. Now we have an idea of how much longer we have.  This doesn't mean that the short-sale process is done and over.  The bank has different departments that handle the two issues (of course), and whomever gets their job done first, well, wins.  In theory they should be communicating with each other and delay foreclosure/auction if the short-sale is close to closing, but that's expecting a lot out of a fairly inefficient system.  So, legally the soonest we could be forced out, if the short-sale doesn't go through, is early March.  The papers today are the beginning of the end.  The bank can sell the house at auction 120 days from today, and then we'll have 20 days after that to leave.  Here's hoping the short-sale people win the race to the finish line!

Weekly Update

The bank has now officially activated our file. They are also requiring that we fill out all of the financial paperwork again on different forms, and continue to redo and resubmit these forms every 30 days until we close.  Ugh.  Looks like I know how I'm spending a good chunk of my weekends for the next few months.  But at least it's movement, right?  The offer came in one month ago yesterday, so it only took 30 days for them to pick up the file and tell us that it's not the "right" file.

On a positive note, the house for sale next door to us, the same floor plan, finally closed!  It was also a short-sale (what isn't in my area, right now....) and the buyers put the offer in the first week of June, taking 4 1/2 months to close.  It wasn't with the same bank, so it's not a direct comparison, nor do I know how short the sellers were.  Sort of comparing apples to pears, I guess.  The positive for us is that we have a solid, recently-closed comparable property for when the bank requests the BPO.  BPO is when they hire independent, local agents to recommend fair-market value for the house.  Having an almost exact property comparison that has recently closed at a very similar amount to the buyer's offer will help greatly with that process. 

Keep praying, crossing your fingers, or knocking on wood - whatever gets your goat - that the process moves smoothly from here on out (and that we don't find ourselves having to move the week of Christmas.....).

Weekly Update

To handle the labor-intensive negotiations with the bank we are using a Loss Mitigation branch of a local law firm.  They get the joy of sitting on the phone, dealing with the ineptness of the (at best) overworked or (at worse) brainless cogs on the other end of the line, faxing and re-faxing documents, and overall handling the more annoying and stressful details of getting this process brought to a close. They tell us what they need from us, we provide it and they play the games with the bank.  They e-mail us updates on their activity and conversations weekly.

Last week the update was something like this: the bank has acknowledged receiving our short-sale package and will be processing it on "priority" status due to the fact that we are already so far into default.  It is a Fannie Mae backed loan, and supposedly FMae is not delaying the foreclosure process as they have been doing.

Update today is something like this: the bank has acknowledged receiving our short-sale package, but has done nothing with it.  Not even entered it into the system, or "activated" it,  so that it can be flagged as priority.  Supposedly an e-mail has been sent from whomever the negotiator was speaking with over to the appropriate department requesting our file be activated.

Nearly one month has past since we received the offer, and the games have truly begun.

The Path to Now, Part 4

To recap, from January 2008 through early January 2009 where I ended the last post in this series:

1. We made the difficult decision to close our floundering general contracting company,
2. Mr. Four Walls took a job at roughly 40% of what he had made through our business,
3. I took a job outside the home to help make up some of the difference (nowhere near all of it, though),
4. Mr. Four Walls' mom moved in with us to watch the kids (then 3 & 5),
5. Mr. Four Walls was "temporarily" laid off (estimated to last 2 weeks, actually lasted 9), and
6. Surprise, I got pregnant with an IUD firmly in place while Mr. Four Walls was unemployed and we were uninsured.

Whew, that was a whirlwind of a year!  But wait there's more......

My pregnancy went fairly smoothly, all things considered.  Our second daughter had been born with no warning at 32 weeks, and had spent 3 weeks in the NICU (not bad at all for how early she was....) .  Even without that history, the fact that I conceived with an IUD brought along it's own issues.  Throw in the lack of insurance, and I was really overwhelmed.  We made it through a very surreal first few weeks following my first pregnancy test - first told I wasn't actually pregnant, then told I was but that I would have to terminate , and then finally told that there was absolutely nothing abnormal about the pregnancy - and quickly we were able to get some health insurance in place for me.  Thankfully, we were within 30 days of Mr. Four Walls being dropped from his employer's coverage, so there wasn't a huge issue getting the pregnancy covered.

We then turned toward the future and what this baby would mean for it.  I had been at my job for right at a year, and I had no idea how they would handle our news.  The company is over 40 years old, but they've never, not one time, had to deal with a pregnant employee.  That's mainly because it's so small and has mostly employed men and only a few women, most of whom were already past their baby-making years when they started working there.  We navigated through, and we were incredibly blessed by my employer.  I was given some paid leave, followed by the opportunity to bring the baby with me when I returned.  It meant that I had to return much sooner than I would have liked, right at 6 weeks, but that was their offer and as I knew I needed the job, I took it.

Against the odds, our little Peanut made her entrance on her due date, September 26th, 2009 at 4:04 in the afternoon, about three hours after my water broke.  This was despite the fact that I had been in preterm/early labor since 31 weeks, with contractions coming every 10-20 minutes for roughly 2 months, with relatively few breaks.  I worked up until the end of the day Friday, the 25th, and went home figuring that if the baby didn't come, I'd be back Monday morning.  She was born on Saturday.  I started my maternity leave that Monday knowing that I had only a few months before we would have to face the big issue of how in the world we would afford childcare for her once I could no longer bring her with me to the office. 

I prayed A LOT, doing my best to trust that since God had blessed us with this baby, he'd bless us with a way to provide for her.  But it was scary.  We were already on the edge financially, since combined we were making so much less than we had been when we bought the house.  Throw in all of the weeks of unemployment, the extra medical bills, and our commitment to eliminating our debts when things had seemed stable through most of 2008, and our savings was dwindling quickly.  So while I trusted He'd provide, I knew deep down that it might not be in the miraculous, cash-falling-from-the-sky-way that we so often hope for when funds are low.  Some may take this as a lack of faith, but I call it realism.  I accept and wholeheartedly believe that big miracles can and do happen, but that more often than not God will simply nudge us in a direction and wait for us to take the steps.

Separation Anxiety

Our sweet little Peanut has turned one year old.  The Four Walls household is now officially leaving the snugly newborn-baby years behind with this momentous mark for our last child, and forging full-speed ahead into toddler-dom one last time.  First steps, imitation, and temper tantrums are the on the daily menu at Chez Four Walls, and we love every minute of it.  Separation anxiety, on the other hand, not so much.  I don't mean it hasn't taken up residence, because believe me, it has.  What I mean is that we're not loving this stage.  And by we, I mean me.

Peanut is a Daddy's Girl. Mr. Four Walls is her world, and has been pretty much since birth.  Even when I was her sole source of sustenance in those first few milky-months, she tolerated me to attend to the task of nourishing herself, and then wanted....Daddy.  This is such a turnabout from the older girls who, while they certainly loved and bonded with their Dad, searched me out for all of their needs.  It was me they wanted in the middle of the night, and when they were in an unfamiliar place they scanned for me.  Neither of them went through a particularly painful phase of getting anxious at my leaving or being out of sight, but they were definitely happier to have me close.  Peanut?  Not so much. 

Don't get me wrong.  Her eyes do light up when I come home, and she does seem to enjoy when I swoop her up and breathe her in after a long day apart. That is, unless she knows Mr. Four Walls is home.  The child seems to have a sixth sense of knowing when he is present before she can see or hear him, and know matter who or what she was engaged with, when she senses him, she has to have him.  Right. Now.  God forbid he come into the house and need to use the restroom or wash his hands before he gets to her.  Lord help us all if, after greeting her and the rest of the family, he retreats to the shower to clean away the days worth of dirt and grime he usually wears home.  After over eight years of fatherhood, he is finally perfecting the art of the ultra-fast shower.  Even from the other end of the house, even over the sound of the shower, he can hear her mournful cries of "Da-daaaaa.  Da-daaaaa." 

She'll settle down a bit for me or whomever is holding her, but unless she's sure he has left for good (and sometimes it'll continue even then) she struggles to hold back the crocodile tears.  Periodic, questioning "Da-da"s pass through her sweet, quivering, pouting lips.  And I'm jealous. 

I'm away from her so much.  On a good day I spend 120 waking minutes with her, and many days it's less.  Yes, it is wonderful that she has such a strong bond with her Dad, and I would never want anything less for them.  And, yes, I know that she and I have just as strong of a bond, even if it's not as visible at this stage of the game.  And yes, I know that they go through phases, this too shall pass, and yada, yada, yada.  The mature, rational, experienced mother in me gets it and is grateful.  However, the slightly selfish, overworked, exhausted, tired-of-being-a-working mother wants her baby to want me as much as she wants her "Da-daaaaa."  It hurts when I get home and try to give her a kiss only to have her push me away as she snuggles into Daddy.  It hurts when she screams and claws back to him when I try to embrace her.  It hurts that my presence and embrace has only 1/16th of the calming effect of simply having her father sitting next to her.

So, I think we're both experiencing a bit of separation anxiety:  her from her father, and I from her.  I look back at how insanely fast this past year has evaporated, and I'm sad.  While working and commuting, I've missed so many precious giggles and smiles, tears and tunny-aches.  Yes, it was for a good reason - food and shelter are good reasons, I suppose. 

In this period of transition, as we separate ourselves from our once believed-to-be-forever-home, I'm anxious to move forward.  Forward toward the day when I get to spend more than 120 rushed minutes with my kids.  Forward toward the day when I will be able to answer the always asked question of "So, do you know where you're moving?"  Forward toward the day of her maturing enough to recognize that even we she can't see him, her Daddy is there, loving her and protecting her.  That's a reminder that I need sometimes, too.  Silly Separation Anxiety.

The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

-Philippians 4:6 (NIV)

Who, What, When, Where, How, and Why?

Up until this point we've avoided answering The Question: "Where do we go from here?"  We've been so focused on getting through the storm that we haven't been able to think about a day when are ARE actually through it.  With an offer in hand and agreed upon, ready to go to the lawyers tomorrow to begin the negotiations with the bank, it's time for us to think about our next step more than in the hypothetical sense.  This is when it gets real.  This is when we have to decide if we're going to continue to have two full-time working parents, and if not, who's quitting and finding an evening/weekend job to make ends meet without forking out more for childcare than we expect to pay for rent monthly.  This is when we have to decide if we're going to stay in our beloved town, close to the neighbors and friends that have become such a bedrock for our daily lives, or if we are going to move somewhere cheaper and/or closer to my office (assuming I stay working full-time) to save on time and commuting expenses.  This is when we have to decide if having those ties close to us is more important than reducing my stress-level as a mom and as a commuter, if good friends and good schools are more important than an extra 60-90 minutes a day spent out of a car.  This is when we have to decide if we're going to ride out this process to the last possible moment in our beloved home, leaving only when the closing date looms large and near, or if we're going to get ahead of the tide and set-out to create a new beloved, albeit rented, home, even if it means walking away from living rent-free for another month, or even several months.  This is when we have to decide what else to cut from our already slashed budget to make ends meet as we move from shaky to solid ground again.

This is when we have to start asking and answering all of the hard questions.  Thankfully, we realize that our decisions aren't set in stone.  If we make a move in one direction, and we find it is the wrong path, we can correct it.  However, some decisions, like what rental we choose, are easier undone than other decisions, like one of us quitting our relatively good jobs.  When the lease is up on a rental we dislike, we can move.  Annoying, but not life-altering.  Giving up on jobs that do offer somewhat stable incomes and benefits -  not so easy to walk away from in this economy.  Even so, my heart cries out to be home more with my kids, finances be damned...which they would be should I quit. (sigh) Questions, questions, questions.

Day 113 - A Light at the end of the tunnel...maybe

113 Days on the market.  That's a lot of days to be in "show the house at any moment" mode, especially with three young kids and two full-time working, commuting parents.  Exhausting.  Tiring. Annoying.  But it has apparently paid off.  Yesterday afternoon we received an offer!  I know nothing about the potential buyers except that they looked at the house twice last week (2 of 5 showings in 7 days last week!).  The offer is pretty good - not top-notch - but good, and let's face it: beggars can't be choosers, right?  We counter-offered today, mainly regarding which appliances we will leave (they want all, we want to take all but the stove and the dishwasher).  I'm sure we can come to an agreement, though.  So now the real fun and hard work begins: getting the bank to accept the offer.

I feel like I should take a few moments to better explain the short-sale process, because through-out this journey I've learned that many people don't really understand what the term "short-sale" really means.  Some people actually think it means that the home-selling process is stream-lined, or shortened, and that couldn't be farther from the truth!  I'm not an attorney or real-estate agent, but this is my take on all of the reading, consulting and interviewing agents and attorneys, and other research I have done over the past few months.  (Obviously, if you're looking for hard and fast, complete and legally accurate information, I should not be your source. :)  Talk to a real estate attorney and/or a knowledgeable Realtor for specific information.)

A short-sale is when the seller is short on funds to close the sale because the amount for which they can sell the home is less than the amount outstanding on their mortgage or mortgages, if more than one lender, and they lack the necessary capital to pay off the balance remaining.  Generally speaking, a seller has to be delinquent on their mortgage payments in order for the bank to consider a short-sale approval, and they have to have experienced a substantial change in their lives that make it difficult or impossible for them to fulfill their obligation to the bank.  There are exceptions to this, of course, but they are not common.  At this point we are coming up on 120 days past-due and the offer we have received is for approximately $105,000 less than our mortgage balance.  Since we don't have that kind of money laying around (if we did, we'd pay the mortgage - duh!), we must submit the offer to the bank and wait for them to respond in one of the following ways:

1.) take the offer as payment in full for our debt, forgiving the balance,
2.) take the offer as partial payment for our debt, reduce the balance remaining (forgiving a portion), and allow us to sign an unsecured note for difference, or
3.) reject the offer which would require us to either secure funding elsewhere to pay off the balance, to allow the home to go into foreclosure, or continue to solicit offers on the property in the hopes that one will come in to the banks liking before they get around to foreclosing.

There is an option #4, I suppose, in that the bank can counter-offer the buyer's offer, and let the buyer decide if they will accept the new purchase price; then the process would proceed with the options above.  There are a lot of things that come into play in determining which way the bank will go, such as the amount they project they'd have to pay in fees to foreclose, time the home has been on the market, the balance remaining, and the local laws concerning their options for recourse on the loan.  This last point is very important for us since we live in WA, which is what is often referred to as a "non-recourse" state.  What this means is that the laws fall generally in favor of the seller not having to pay the balance above what a lender is able to recover from selling the property at auction or on the market following foreclosure.  What that really means for us is that if the bank will not do option #1 above when they respond to the offer, then we are better off - credit hit aside - to allow the home to go into foreclosure.  Again, this is not always the case, but in general it's how it works, and it is how our attorney has advised us to proceed should the bank be unwilling to forgive the balance of the mortgage.

How long does this take, you might ask?  That is the $64,000 question, and it is entirely dependent upon the bank.  Our buyer has given us 90 days to get a response from the bank.  If the bank does not respond in that time, they can walk away from the deal.  According to the attorney with whom we've consulted, we should expect for the bank to take close to 90 days to respond, for them to lose the offer and/or supporting documents at least twice, and to never speak twice to the same person at the bank.  All in all, it's a messy system at best, and many banks, especially smaller entities like ours, are simply not equipped to deal with the high volume of these types of sales the housing-market crash and recession have spurred.  We're hoping for a best case scenario which would be that the bank responds favorably in about 45-60 days.  The buyer, and most banks, expect to close 30 days after the bank approves an offer.  On the short end of the spectrum we could be closing sometime in November or December (Happy Holidays...).  It's also not uncommon for this to drag out 6, 8, 10 months if the bank really drags it out and if buyer is willing to stick around that long.  Realistically, we're probably looking at closing sometime in January or February. 

So thank you for your prayers and support as we've worked through the insanity of the last four months to get to this point.  Keep it coming, because that was the easy part, and we need it more now than ever.  We're not out of the woods yet.  Now....we wait some more.